Trust and the Family Fabric

Brenda and I are Family Life Ambassadors with the Ministry of Community, Youth and Sports. As part of Trailblazer Trainers' corporate citizenship responsibilities, we are currently resource speakers with a social service centre, providing our expertise to help their clients on parenting and work-life balance issues that they are facing.

One theme that runs through our work is that trust is an essential element of success, regardless whether we are working with corporate teams, student leaders or families. Perhaps especially in the case of families, trust is most often taken for granted. If trust is the fundamental building block of business relationships, then isn't it an even more important pillar of family life?

When one can no longer possess a complete reliance in the integrity of another family member, the solution of other problems becomes inhibited, because communication channels are broken. Problems would simmer under the surface, occasionally surfacing, but never really fully resolved. If at all, these become flashpoints for further conflict. Every family fights over issues, but it is the one whose members still trust each other, that overcomes conflict and the emerging problems.

It is often said that trust is earned and like most meaningful things in human existence; that process takes time. Trust is essentially built on repeated experiences where spouses and children reinforce their belief in the integrity of the other family members. I leave you with a short list of seemingly-innocuous things that go a long way in building trust, which we have done in our own family:

• Keep promises we made to each other
• Playing fair during games
• Choosing activities that everyone in the family can be engaged in interaction at the same time (Television-watching doesn't really count)
• Role-modelling trustworthy behaviours
• Encouraging active interest in the specific interests & hobbies of others in the family
• Making time to have fun together

Noel Tan

Resident Philosopher

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